Dear Jonghyunnie,

It's been about 4 weeks since you left us. I'm back to checking up on SHINee daily because I miss you so much. Your new album is coming out soon! I'm excited yet so hurt. It's so different knowing that you're not here anymore... I can't be as happy or excited as I used to be. I wish, I really wish things went different. And I know I'm being selfish, but I wish you were still here. I wish your pain healed and that you found permanent happiness. I'm so sorry but I can't let you go. I don't know when I'll be able to. I wake up remembering you're gone and then I just scroll through twitter like old times and look at videos/ photos of you that I missed out these past 2 years. I really miss you so much. I regret missing out on yours and SHINee's activities these 2 years. Even though I still made sure to keep myself updated with SHINee's comebacks and your solo comebacks, it was different. I couldn't sit in front of the laptop and wait for the music show performances like I used to. I became busy with uni and A levels. I just want to say that I never stopped loving you or SHINee, and I will never stop loving you guys. SHINee will have a special place in my heart forever, I know that.
I want to rewind time... back to maybe 2013? When SHINee was so active that year. Ah good times. Or 2010? When I first got to know you guys through Hello Baby. I don't know... Just any time before 18th December 2017. I know I couldn't have done much to help you but how I wish I could have. I really miss you, Jonghyun-ah, Jjong-ah, my precious Jonghyun. I wish I took some time out to watch your insta lives when I had the chance to. I guess I took you for granted because never in a million years would I have expected this to happen. I looked forward to growing up, earning money and then funding myself to watch you and SHINee in Korea, with my boyfriend. That was one of the few things on my life wishlist. I'll continue supporting the rest and hope to tick that off my wishlist one day. I promise to continue listening to the music that you produced.
I'm so in love with your soothing voice, your soft and calming voice. The voice that helps me cry when I need to, and feel better after that. Thank you so much, Jonghyun. I am so so thankful I had at least seen whole of SHINee perform live once in my life. You bring me so much joy, you know that. Watching you play around with the rest of SHINee, watching you perform live, listening to your music that you wrote and produced, laughing at your tweets, crying with you or laughing at you when you cry or listening to you hosting Blue Night radio even though I didn't understand anything, you gave me tons of happiness and memories that I cherish a lot. I'm so proud of you because you achieved your dream, your dream of producing and singing your own music. You did it, Jonghyun! You really did so well! There is certainly no doubt about that. Your music is beautiful.
Sigh, my heart hurts a lot, knowing that an angel like you, who cared so much about everyone else, had to go through so much pain. But I guess it's because you went through so much pain, that's why you're able to understand people's emotions and troubles so well. You deserved so much more happiness. I love you so much. I loved you since the day I discovered you, the love grew and grew as I watched you grow, as you debuted solo... and now I want to make sure I'll love you forever more.
You did very well, Jonghyun. I love you so much. Thank you for your music, thank you for your comforting words, thank you for your laughters, thank you for the tears you showed us, thank you for the love you showed us all the time, thank you, especially, for your hard work, thank you.